Tuesday 13 October 2009

In last Ramadan there were many stories happened during it, so I will write a story happened in last Ramadan between my father and me about our work.
Before few months my father traveled to another country, and he told to my brother and me to control his work which includes heavy equipment such as dredgers and trucks until he comes back. We started the work knowing that I do not know how the work is, so I depended on my brother to teach me how I work, but he didn’t teach me everything I needed to do what I should do, so the days passed, and when my father returned my brother traveled to Egypt to seek treatment. After that, I knew nobody stayed in the face of the gun except me. I asked myself what should I do, I don’t know what I will tell my father about his, after that I knew it there was be a big problem, because I didn’t know anything about the work. After 2 days my father called me to come to his room to see what happened until he wasn’t here, so I came and we started, but after 30 minutes I surprised because everything my brother did it, it was wrong, and no one here except me, so I knew I was in big problem and no one responsible except me, so I locked to my father’s face, and his face started to change, and he started scold me, and I remained silent. Suddenly we heard the call to pray, in myself I said “the time for pray come”, and my father in a moment he calmed down after that with a nice smile he said “son go to the mosque and pray and don’t care everything will be OK”. When I heard that I felt so happy and pleasure and I went to pray.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Hamza,
    I Hope you are very well. Regarding the artical about Ramadan, I have some ideas to make your artical very nice. The first one is make space between each pragraph. The grammar is fine.

    thank's

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Hamza,
    what an exciting story? I like it.
    At the begining, your essay is more than 150 words. No linking words were used and you have some simple grammer mistakes. The esaay is well organized and no spelling mistakes.

    we shall meet up at the class so I can tell you your mistakes to correct them.

    wish you the best Hamza in your studies.

    Re,
    Yousef Alabri

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is good narrative. Please separate the paragraphs. Please give more detail about what mistakes were made, if you can. Please work in the ALZ on grammar and spelling.

    ReplyDelete